Twelve

So it is almost 2 in the morning, and I am watching The Pick-Up Artist with Mystery. One thing I would like to say is all of these "Master" pick-up artists look straight up foul. If they ever came up to me, I would viciously attack their dressing skills. No one wears leather, furry hats, and studs in their chin. Nor do they have weird freak ass streak in their hair or freaky greasy long hair. These things are not what I personally consider hot. But the babes on the show just seem to eat it up. Plus their lines are completely foul. "Do you consider it cheating if the girl kisses the guy?" or "Do you floss before or after you brush." WTF is that shit. Not suave. That would be the correct answer. Sometimes that show becomes way too painful to watch. Black nail polish? I mean....come on!

Speaking of bad pick-ups, I shall enchant you with the story of my day. I spent the morning with Zachary, cleaning and watching the Pokemon Movie 2000. AKA a whole bunch of awesome. After Zachary left, I also realized I got a message from Mike. I don't think he'll mind if I post it, because it just fills my heart with such joy.

I'm so glad to here from you my dear Tricia. I hope you're all back to normal and it's good that your period shit is not so out-of-whack anymore. I've seriously missed you a lot this past week. I'll tell you about the details later. I felt so scared when you started to go into shock, but looking at you in the hospital bed made me realize how much I care about you. I'll try to talk later babe, sugartits.

- Mike

Mike's little e-mail reminded me why I adored him so much. One, because he called me sugartits. Two, because he is so amazingly frank. And three, because he manages to be foul and sweet in the same little blurb. It is why we go so well together.

Once I was done writing up a response, I went to dinner and the mall with Mother. Picked up some new, but not as fabulous sunglasses to hold me off until better come a long. I also got a whole bunch of adorable outfits. I got this dress that with some accessories I made completely banging. I couldn't find anything I thought was good enough for Michael for his birthday, but I will keep looking.

LETS TAKE A BREAK AND ENJOY THE FACT THAT MIKHAIL GORBACHEV IS NOW A MODEL FOR LOUIE VUITTON. I FUCKING LOVE GORBY.

After ice cream with the mother I headed out with Krystal. We went to the boardwalk to play big bug hunt and walk. I ended up getting hit on by this swarthy indie fag. He was covered in awful Point Pleasant done tattoos and an outfit straight out of American apparel. He was mackin' it to me all night, so Krystal and I made a joint decision to go with it because we knew it would bring the lolz. It did. I gave him my phone number. These are the best text messages I got from him.

Me and my friendwant u idk what to do

I want u to hook up with me

Piecies lets hook up

Lets go i want u

Lets go to my houre

Let me know when ur alone

Are u gana hook up with us?

It is like, are you kidding me? One your spelling and grammar is atrocious. Two, usually girls don't get turned on by being treated like a one night fling boardwalk slut. After his roffle messages and several calls, I sent him a really intense message that basically said that if you want pussy, try to be more suave and don't treat the girl you are trying to mack it to like a whore. I also added I was very happy with my boyfriend. A 20 year old should know that, and not be hanging out at Point Pleasant to pick up girls. Krystal and I were getting mildly freaked out when he wouldn't stop calling. I was also accosted by a group of gangsta 16 year olds. Who informed me that I was a hot girl, and that I should holla. I was also attacked by a group of biking 14 year olds. They were freaking out over my black cigarette saying, I did not come from the Jersey Shore, and that I was a Pussy Cat Doll and not to mess with me. IDK, it was an interesting night at the boardwalk. Some how I just naturally attract crazy PISCES. After the boardwalk Krystal and I watched the Roast of Flava Flav. I have decided I want to marry Snoop Dogg. He is such a sassy beast. While watching Flava Flav the weird kid kept calling me. Krystal's mother asked me who was calling, and I responded some kid from the boardwalk. She then instructed me to watch out and not to accept calls from extraterrestrials. That they will cause me nothing but trouble. I love Krystal's mom.

Oh well, I'm gana go now. I have folding to do..I should do a bit before I goto bed.

Puppet Pals, I told you I was a nerd:

---

Photography taken by Samantha.

Seven

*Warning- This entry contains a mildly graphic description of sex.*

      This morning, July 28th 2007, was the first morning in my entire life I woke up not being a virgin. In all honesty is is a very strange feeling. A mixture of melancholy and content.Mike has been giving into my every wish and whim since yesterday. When I arrived we checked into the hotel, and it was very nice. I am a very lucky girl to have such a thoughtful boy. We went to this really cute Sushi place. I got this awesome spicy salmon and tempura shrimp sushi. It was phenomenal. Since I said I wanted chocolates for later that night, he bought me four of my favorite Godiva candies. Mike was even sweet enough to traveled to Philadelphia just so I could get the ice cream Sundae I wanted. While we were walking around after, it started to rain, so we headed back to the hotel. I was hoping to delay it, walk longer, but life seemed to have other plans for me.
      I have never been so scared in my life. I actually insisted to Mike that he smelt, and to go take a shower, just so I could call and cry to Samantha. In all honesty he really didn't, I was just horrified. I climbed into the shower with him, hoping to chill out, but it did not help one bit. Once we were done showering together I had realized I had left the chocolates in the car, and him go get them. Secretly wishing he'd get hit by a car, so I would not have to make the decision myself. When the time came, I was sobbing, my hands covering my face. I have never felt such pain in my life. I felt as if someone was ripping my vagina open. The first time it went in, it hurt so much I had to have him stop. So, we chilled a little bit and watched television. Then I tried again, it still hurt tremendously, so bad I cannot even put this pain into words. I felt like my world was ending. But at least this time I was able to move a little bit with him, and get him off. The feeling of a man cumming inside you(he was wearing a condom, mind you), is really quit bizarre. You can feel the penis twitch and move inside you. In all honesty, only for two seconds did it feel remotely good. The rest was just this pain that I was praying would dull. I bled quit a bit. But he was as gentle and sweet as he could be. That is how, Tricia, Queen of the Virgins, lost her virginity.
      After we went outside for a cigarette. We ended up chilling at the outside bar area for awhile, talking about frivolous things, watching drunkards do this and that. There was even this drunken man in a wheel chair smoking a cigarette. Another man asked him if he ever fucked a girl in the wheelchair, his response was, "The ladies go wild for it." That made my day. Then we went back to the room, watched tv, and I talked to Sam on the phone.
      I keep going back and forth between two feelings. Sometimes I am content and happy. Despite the pain I felt, and the guilt I still feel. I feel closer to Mike some how. And I know he truly cares about me, and that he was the right guy and this was the right time. I don't regret it a single bit. Then there is the part of me, this is weirded out, and a bit disgusted....that I gave it up. As I said, I am in a weird place.
      When we woke up, we took a shower, and actually intended on doing it again. But this morning I got my period. He is still catering to me, like I were a princess. I give him a hard time most of the time, but, he really is a treasure to me. I was given for some reason, a genuine, caring, sweet little Virgo. I hope, I do not screw this up.

Oh Jesus and Marychain:

One

*** While reading this blog entry it is highly recommend listening to "The Art of Sucking Cock" by N.W.A. (Niggaz With Attitude). This is the song that kept playing through my head during the entire following experience. And it may help the reader understand my plight and my mind set a bit better. ***

     At age 19 I have had very few sexual en devours. These have just started recently in fact, February 2007. And any sexual en devours that have occurred in my life just end up in shambles, along with most of my relationships. But that is another story. I have currently found myself into a relationship with a Virgo, Leo, Leo. I use to think he was a Virgo, Leo, Cancer but thankfully his birth time was wrong making him a Virgo, Leo, Leo. I had mistaken the over-emotionalness of a cancer ascendant with the intensity of a Leo ascendant. I know he cares about me, but I also know Virgoeans are not really expressive with their words vocally and tend. So you just have to pick up on the signs and hope you are reading them correctly. What I like most about him is that he doesn't jump the gun, he only says what he feels, not what he thinks he feels, or things to get me in bed, so I know when he does say things they are truthful.
     I am rather infamous for my fear of sex, sexual organs and sexual things. So, I said to myself, "Girl, you have to get over your fear." Though we have only been together for a short period of time, he stuck by my side through one of the hardest times of my life, and stuck by my side knowing I loved someone. So, I have to give my little Virgoean lots of credit, for being so good. He did what most men wouldn't do. I haven't grown dependent on him, but I have become very fond of his company and care. I could live without it, but I would rather not. So, by his actions I am aware of his feelings for me. And because of his genuine nature, I am more comfortable with him then I have been with anyone. I also get this feeling that he cares about me as a person, not as the the idea of me. Which is a first.
     So, over this past weekend after starring at a penis for 15 minutes repeating the words, "alright", "ok", "then", and "give me a minute!, touching it with my nose, and pushing back tears, and basically being my sex-a-phobic self I did it. I did it. For like 5 seconds, but I did it. But that was enough for me, so I finished him off with a hand job. But so, after he was done we lay down on the bed, we are laying there face to face. And the first thing he says to me is, "I have a question. When we are at ____ earlier, did you fart on me?" After a few angry words, and him telling me it was just, "I did it to lighten the mood and I was curious!" I informed him that I was too tired to be angry, and that I would finish the job the next morning. Which I did. He is a sweet kid, but god can he be clueless about women. This is one of those first times that could only happen, to the one, the only, me. But if ridiculous things like this didn't happen to me, it n'tbe my life, or the relationships in it.

In other really lame news...I am ridiculously addicted to this song...some may see it as a sign of lameness. I see it as, I am so awesome, I can listen to really bad built-to-sell pop and make it look cool.