Twelve

So it is almost 2 in the morning, and I am watching The Pick-Up Artist with Mystery. One thing I would like to say is all of these "Master" pick-up artists look straight up foul. If they ever came up to me, I would viciously attack their dressing skills. No one wears leather, furry hats, and studs in their chin. Nor do they have weird freak ass streak in their hair or freaky greasy long hair. These things are not what I personally consider hot. But the babes on the show just seem to eat it up. Plus their lines are completely foul. "Do you consider it cheating if the girl kisses the guy?" or "Do you floss before or after you brush." WTF is that shit. Not suave. That would be the correct answer. Sometimes that show becomes way too painful to watch. Black nail polish? I mean....come on!

Speaking of bad pick-ups, I shall enchant you with the story of my day. I spent the morning with Zachary, cleaning and watching the Pokemon Movie 2000. AKA a whole bunch of awesome. After Zachary left, I also realized I got a message from Mike. I don't think he'll mind if I post it, because it just fills my heart with such joy.

I'm so glad to here from you my dear Tricia. I hope you're all back to normal and it's good that your period shit is not so out-of-whack anymore. I've seriously missed you a lot this past week. I'll tell you about the details later. I felt so scared when you started to go into shock, but looking at you in the hospital bed made me realize how much I care about you. I'll try to talk later babe, sugartits.

- Mike

Mike's little e-mail reminded me why I adored him so much. One, because he called me sugartits. Two, because he is so amazingly frank. And three, because he manages to be foul and sweet in the same little blurb. It is why we go so well together.

Once I was done writing up a response, I went to dinner and the mall with Mother. Picked up some new, but not as fabulous sunglasses to hold me off until better come a long. I also got a whole bunch of adorable outfits. I got this dress that with some accessories I made completely banging. I couldn't find anything I thought was good enough for Michael for his birthday, but I will keep looking.

LETS TAKE A BREAK AND ENJOY THE FACT THAT MIKHAIL GORBACHEV IS NOW A MODEL FOR LOUIE VUITTON. I FUCKING LOVE GORBY.

After ice cream with the mother I headed out with Krystal. We went to the boardwalk to play big bug hunt and walk. I ended up getting hit on by this swarthy indie fag. He was covered in awful Point Pleasant done tattoos and an outfit straight out of American apparel. He was mackin' it to me all night, so Krystal and I made a joint decision to go with it because we knew it would bring the lolz. It did. I gave him my phone number. These are the best text messages I got from him.

Me and my friendwant u idk what to do

I want u to hook up with me

Piecies lets hook up

Lets go i want u

Lets go to my houre

Let me know when ur alone

Are u gana hook up with us?

It is like, are you kidding me? One your spelling and grammar is atrocious. Two, usually girls don't get turned on by being treated like a one night fling boardwalk slut. After his roffle messages and several calls, I sent him a really intense message that basically said that if you want pussy, try to be more suave and don't treat the girl you are trying to mack it to like a whore. I also added I was very happy with my boyfriend. A 20 year old should know that, and not be hanging out at Point Pleasant to pick up girls. Krystal and I were getting mildly freaked out when he wouldn't stop calling. I was also accosted by a group of gangsta 16 year olds. Who informed me that I was a hot girl, and that I should holla. I was also attacked by a group of biking 14 year olds. They were freaking out over my black cigarette saying, I did not come from the Jersey Shore, and that I was a Pussy Cat Doll and not to mess with me. IDK, it was an interesting night at the boardwalk. Some how I just naturally attract crazy PISCES. After the boardwalk Krystal and I watched the Roast of Flava Flav. I have decided I want to marry Snoop Dogg. He is such a sassy beast. While watching Flava Flav the weird kid kept calling me. Krystal's mother asked me who was calling, and I responded some kid from the boardwalk. She then instructed me to watch out and not to accept calls from extraterrestrials. That they will cause me nothing but trouble. I love Krystal's mom.

Oh well, I'm gana go now. I have folding to do..I should do a bit before I goto bed.

Puppet Pals, I told you I was a nerd:

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Photography taken by Samantha.