Ten

I was a complete wreck Friday. For one thing, I had nothing to wear. Now sure, you may say to me, "Tricia, you have more clothes then the entire population Burma, when it existed." But I would simply reply, "Well, that is not enough." I live by one rule, and one rule alone, Always be fabulous. And, I am. I ended up just packing a ridiculous, unnecessary amount of clothes so I could possibly put something together at Mike's house. But I got this adorable new Blue/Brown dress from the shop my mother works out, so I knew at least Friday I would look banging.

This was the first time I ever went to Mike's house not upset. Usually something happens in my life, that by Friday afternoon I am in shambles. So this time, I was able to just attack and cuddle the bitch. We went out to eat with his Dad. He is an Aquarius who likes things just so, and doesn't like spending money. He is a rather funny man, who calls his Virgoean wife a Dyke. It is kind of funny, because when I am mad/annoyed with Mike, I act a lot like his dad. I am always like, "You stupid little cunt/bitch." or, "Fuck you woman." much like his dad's "You stupid dyke, shut the fuck up." It is pretty amusing, to me anyway.

Friday night really was not filled with mystery or intrigue. We went for a walk around a lake. Just talking and holding hands. What I love about Mike and I is that we could just walk and smoke, and consider that a good time. Then after this I am not really sure what happened. Friday was too long ago at this point. But we ended up getting ice cream and talking to Mike's interesting friend. I learned that abortion could be illegal, but killing someone should be legal. Leos always bring the LoLz.

Mike and I fucked twice Friday Night. Mike is possibly the luckiest man in the world now. We had sex five times this weekend. I just want to get fucked until it feels good. I want to feel this amazing feeling that everyone else feels when they have sex. It has to be good, or else people would not do it. So, I am going to have Mike fuck me as often as possible, until I can enjoy it at least half as much as everybody else does. The first time was a lot more painful in comparison to the second. It took him only 15 minutes to get hard again. I was surprised. I really did not enjoy it. But it did not hurt as bad as it did last week. So for that I was happy. Though it did not feel good, at least it was bearable.

Saturday we were woken up early to pick up a dresser for Mike's sister Kristen. It was in Philadelphia, so we ended up spending the day there. When I look back at all the memories Mike and I have created this summer, most of them involve walking and talking. It is strange, we can have moments of comfortable silence, but these are far and few. Early in the day he said something really inconsiderate to me. Which eventually lead to me being so depressed I threw up twice. Bulimia is a hard habit to kick. But I know he did not mean it cruelly, he just does not understand what it is like to live inside my skin. I cannot except him to. I just have to realize he will never be able to comprehend what it is like having and eating disorder, and not get upset when he does not understand it. To apologize Mike did get me this lovely dress though. It is so adorable and strange. He also got me this interesting circle necklace and a unicorn necklace. He really is such a lovely guy. He has his...off moments, but nobody is perfect.

We went around town, looking for clothes for Mike. We found ourselves in a Park, wanting to have a cigarette and a chat. We ended up being attacked by two homeless people. One claiming to be a part of the foot ball team, raising money. The other one was just some cracked out homeless man with two different shoes who took Mike's cigarette. We decided it was best we peace and went to Barns and Nobles. I was looking at a Russian Vogue, and worked on my pronunciation while Mike was fucking the Computer section. He is such a geek, but that is one of the reasons I am so attracted and relate to him. We headed back home, so Mike could change out of his faggy shorts, and get a shower. Mike and I tried to have random sex in his basement. It really did not work out that well. I have never felt such pain in my life. My pussy was actually burning. BURNING. I could not even move or deal. I was sobbing hysterically. I ended up just jerking him off while crying. I cannot imagine how awkward that is for him, I mean, all he does is watch a crying like a bitch make him cum. It cannot be that sexy.

Joe, Mike and I went to this very enjoyable Mexican restaurant. The waitress ended up being one of their friends, and gave us free drinks. Which was really nice of her. While we took a walk around Haddenfield(sp?idfc), some man in a car screamed, "Man, you are a fucking bean pole." at Mike. That may be the greatest thing Mike and I have ever had screamed at us. Minus,"Hey girl, where are you going with that fine ass. Hey boy, can't you share?" I was designated driver, so once everybody was rounded up in my car we headed over to Mike's. Where the night was spent talking about this and that. It is just kind of funny, it was three men from 22-24, drinking beer, and a 19 year old girl eating a self-made sundae.

I will take this moment to totally jump off topic, and be like, WTF is with Sarah Jessica Parker

Her new commercial makes her look mad creepy and like a crack addict. Idfk, it is the shit my nightmares are made of. Do you see her eyes at the end? I kind of want to know what Covet smells like. Her last sent Lovely smelt god awful. I can't imagine how disgusting it is. It is like, are you fucking kidding me? Get the fuck out.

Mike Quote of the Moment:
"You want to get raped don't you? You little slut."

I dropped Joe and Dane off. Joe may possibly be the sweetest and well mannered boy I have ever met in my life. He was so thankful for my designated driving, when it wasn't even that big of a deal. When Mike drinks, he gets tired, which means he will say he doesn't want to fool around, but will end up becoming ridiculously horny the moment I climb into the bed. Which is something I have semi-gotten use to, but annoys the living day lights of of me. I feel like this, I get to see you three days a week. That means I want to hook up with you as soon and as much as possible.

So, I was kind of being a cunt to Mike. Because he was all ready to go to sleep, so I was getting into go to sleep mode. We turned on the Microphones and began to fuck. Despite the burning sex that happened hours before, this time only hurt a bit going again. I am not saying it was pleasurable by any standards. But it had moments of enjoyment. It was so obvious we were fucking. Mike's room is right next to his parents. The bed was noisy and the music probably did not help. This means his mother knows he took my virginity. Which is kind of weird. I am glad his mother is so non confrontational and that his father just does not give a fuck. It is strange, but literally we fucked only a few feet from his parents. Nothing makes a girl wet like knowing her boyfriend's parents can hear her getting fucked.

I slept really late Sunday, until twelve. Mike's father asked me if I drank too much. I responded, I don't drink, I just feel foul. I wanted to say I don't need to drink to feel like crap in the morning. Your son's monster cock causes me enough pain already. Our day was really simple. We did the following: got Mike flip-flops, went for a walk, ate dinner with his family, worked on the puzzle, went for a walk, and watched Rock of Love. After Rock of Love, I talked Mike into having sex with me. He is a Virgo, so he was hesitant about fucking with his entire family in the house. So I told him that we should fuck on the floor, because his bed makes too much noise. Still, with Jesus and Marychain blasting, it is pretty obvious we were up to something. But I guess attempting to hide it is more polite, even if everyone knows what you are doing. It wasn't anything ground breaking, but for the first time it was not painful at all and it was actually pleasant.

I still fear that I may be some sort of a freak, that I don't feel pleasure like normal girls. I hope my day of enjoying sex comes soon. I keep making Mike fuck me, no matter how painful it is, hoping it will start feeling good. This is so fucked up.

Music Video of the Moment:

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Photograph One taken by Samantha.