Five

I got the new Harry Potter today. But between not feeling well and my cloudy thoughts I haven't gotten far.

Lately..I've been thinking a lot about sex. Not in like the I want to get fucked real bad, I'm horny, kinda way. But in the...Mike makes me feel like I've never felt before. Maybe he's the right one to give my virginity to kinda way. Every other boy I've been with has just been think fiery passionate intense type of feeling. Not that I am saying I do not feel passionate or intense about Mike. But it is more like this calm filling feeling. It was never like, really intense like it was with the other boys. It was always more chill. And honestly it is more fulfilling.

In the same amount of time I have known him now..I knew Ata. And, we are just in such a pleasant place in comparison to where Ata and I were like a few months into being together. This is how the first time together is suppose to feel, it should be like this, and it makes me so happy, he is so sweet and cute.

So...next Friday Mike and I are going on a ritzy dinner, he is taking me out and about the city I presume, then we are getting a hotel..and well...we'll see what happens. I am scared out of my mind. But I know with Mike, at this very moment, I am safe. I have never felt so secure with a person in my life.

Now back to harry and sleep!