My illness has been coming to an end. Now that I am more lucid, I guess I will go over what happened a bit more. I ended up in the emergency room with a 102.8 fever, and it did not go down for some time. It hurt to move or do anything. I had to swish this really raunchy mixture of stuff, to numb my throat. it was foul. But I still went to school like a trooper. It was awful. Mike came to visit me though, it was really hard not being physical on any level with him. I did not want to infect him. He has a job. It is important. They still have no idea what illness I had. 
Leave it to me to get infected with a mystery infect. But apparently 6 weeks ago I had a mono. Doctors are lame.Lately all I have been doing is hanging out with friends, watching Pokemon, and readin
g Harry Potter. I was watching the Pokemon Rangers movie and I totally fell in love with Manaphy. Who is possibly the cutest little Pokemon ever. I bought one at Target, and now I have the habit of taking him everywhere with me. He's so darling. For the past two days I have hung out with Gina and Amanda. Yesterday we went to Seaside and played Big Buck Hunter and were attacked by Jesus Freaks. Remember people, it does not matter if you are a good person or not, all that matters is that Jesus is in your heart. If that is religion, I want no part of it. On Monday Matt, Alyssa, and I went to the JavaMoon psychic. I asked her to tell me about my love life. She said that I just came out of a controlling non-trust relationship. And that he was bad for my health, even though he bought me a lot of material things(yes she actually said that). She also mentioned that we have nothing in common. She said my newest relationship was with an older man who I have a lot more in common with and treats me better. That all my cards were heading in the right directions. I ask her how my Friday would be. I forget all the cards I got exactly. But I got the Wheel of Fortune, which means it is going to be an awesome day, another card which meant my wishes would come true, and my third card meant I would be pleasantly surprised by an outcome. I hope that is True. I also hope I don't get my period Friday. That would be so lame. I finally am like, Hey, I am going to loose my virginity. And my period is like LOLZ fuck you. Last month I got it on the 30th, so hopefully I still have a bit of time left.
Yes that is my boyfriend under me. And yes I am wearing a large teal hat. Lolz. Opps.
omes to doing sexual things, due to how I was raised. I was raised in away the damaged and stunted my sexual drive and many other things in my life. At age 19, I am slowly starting to see the flaws in how I was brought up, and correcting them. Being sexually active at 19 is not bad. I am in a healthy relationship with a boy who cares a lot about me. I waited a lot longer then most girls, and I think I am capable of making a rational choice. He is so sweet, and is working hard to make sure this Friday is a nice day. I still feel a pang of guilt. And I know it will hurt and that I will probably cry and that it will not be anything like it is in the movies. I am loosing my virginity when I am old enough to realize that. It will not be romantic, but awkward. But because it is with Mike, my little Virgo, I am ok with that.I also finished Harry Potter today. I was at the gym, crying. Reading a really intense ending, like the ending of Harry Potter, should not be in public places. Especially when the person reading has a pension for crying.
I meant to post this music video on my last post, but I didn't..So here it is:
Photography by Samantha.
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